There are no bad feelings. Sadness, anger, fear, and frustration all carry a message, and children who learn to listen to that message are better able to handle it well.

It helps to separate the feeling from the behavior. A child is allowed to feel angry; hitting is what needs guidance. When adults say “I can see you are really frustrated,” the feeling is acknowledged and the child is ready to hear what comes next.

P.A.T.C.H.E.S. supports this by giving every feeling a face. Choosing a face turns a confusing rush of emotion into something a child can look at, name, and share.